by Pink Hanamori
Published in the U.S. by Del Rey
Maybe you aren't familiar with the "magical girl" genre in which you seem to be writing. Let me point out a few major elements.
1. Magical powers. The girl usually has them, and they usually have spectacular effects. You completely forgot to draw the spectacular effects.
2. Transformation sequences. Yes, you need to draw those too. No, the lame 1-panel body outlines are not going to cut it as transformation sequences.
3. Challenge your heroine. Make her actually go looking for the other princesses, instead of them conveniently transferring into her school.
4. Stop watching Disney and come up with some of your own ideas about mermaids. It's okay to use traditional Japanese mermaids -- they'd be something new and different to Western readers.
5. Your bad guy sends his flunkies to fail and fail again. Doesn't he know anything about being a bad guy? This approach didn't work even back in the days of Voltron.
6. The back cover says this is a very popular anime series. Maybe you should stick to animation, okay?
It's hard to see how this manga could have any relationship to a popular anime series (I've never heard of it, BTW) because it lacks most of the points associated with good magical girl stories: magic, transformations, action sequences, a challenge or two, some creative costumes, maybe, cute animal sidekicks, a source of humor... I think I can safely say there isn't a single original element in this manga.